


third time's the charm

by honeywaves



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Angst, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Reunions, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-20
Updated: 2020-06-20
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:35:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24826144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/honeywaves/pseuds/honeywaves
Summary: The two times that the world was against the two of them.And the one time that the stars have finally aligned for Beomgyu and Yeonjun.(Or, Beomgyu and Yeonjun have lingering feelings for each other. But the universe could be a little cruel and timing isn't exactly their best forte.)
Relationships: Choi Beomgyu/Choi Yeonjun, Choi Soobin/Choi Yeonjun
Comments: 4
Kudos: 122





	third time's the charm

**Author's Note:**

> if you see me post three fics in less than 12 hours, no you didn't. ♡ okay, but i've always wanted to write something a little more mellow for beomjun and since i miss them, here's a gift for the beomjunists! i hope you enjoy reading and please ignore any typos since i haven't proofread it.
> 
> p.s. i listened to [this song](https://youtu.be/QO52Ed04sSw) on repeat the entire time i wrote this so if you'd like, you can listen to it too!

_Beomgyu._

The first time that Beomgyu had felt his heart collapse in his chest was when he was fifteen.

Love didn't come to him with his overwhelming emotions crashing in his chest. It didn't come with an explosion that makes his ears ring as his body shook from the vibration. It wasn't the fireworks bursting through his veins, his throat tightening at the thought of love rushing right into his body.

No, love didn't feel like that for him — it felt like the warmth wrapping around his body, like the quiet moments of falling asleep and being awake. It's the tear of reality and dream for him; a lull of lullabies and chaos all the same.

He felt all of that and more when he glanced at Yeonjun and the realization hit him that _oh, I'm so in love with him_. Maybe he loved him since the moment they met or maybe love had taken control of his heart when he was sitting right next to him that night.

Beomgyu couldn't forget that night; he was fifteen, cheeks still flushed and knees pressed against his chest as he watched the flicker of shows on his television. Anything good enough for them to watch but eventually, they still wound up watching another replay of _Finding Nemo_ , like they always do. Yeonjun still laughed at the same parts he grew to love and he still felt like his chest would constrict at the little scenes that made the sadness burst within him. Beomgyu would have done the same, if he was being honest.

But that night, he chose to gaze at the way light from the television flashes on Yeonjun's features, flickers of happiness drifting through his expression. Beomgyu thought to himself _I want to spend the rest of my days with him_ and it made him completely pause to let the words sink in deep. He had that thought before, like he wanted to be with his best friend in this lifetime.

Though in that moment, he didn't think of him as his best friend. He looked at him with adoration, like he wanted him more than that.

His heart fell into pieces in his ribcage that night and his throat tightened. Everything in him fell still and he realized that maybe he was in love — he was _so_ deep in his love for him.

And Yeonjun continued watching the film without an ounce of idea on what his own best friend thought of him at that very second.

His feelings caught up to him after suppressing them for so long, like they were lingering at the back of his mind. It clung to him whenever he catches himself staring a little too long at the way Yeonjun bursts out laughing, hands over his face like he always does. Or the way he always wanted to be near the older boy, arms stubbornly wrapped around his waist to cuddle with him.

Yeonjun seemed to welcome his affectionate side without so much trouble, fingers brushing through his dark strands. He lets Beomgyu cling to him without voicing out any complaint — he even looks so much brighter, now that Beomgyu had become sweeter to him. Even when they were studying together, Beomgyu always felt the need to hold his hand or press their bodies together in such a comforting manner because Yeonjun's presence was always so warm.

"I don't know," Beomgyu seemed more on edge these days, especially when he was around the older boy's presence. Yeonjun was concerned but he brushed it off by quietly saying _I have exams soon so I can't concentrate well_ , knowing well enough that his tests were coming out next month. "Should I really confess to him?"

Taehyun and Hueningkai are both strangely silent but then again, maybe it's because they've been more invested in their own studies this time around. But Taehyun was far too distracted to memorize the formulas laid out in his notes, finding Beomgyu's problem a little more intriguing than the quadratic formula that he needed to memorize.

"Of course you should," A sigh trailed after Taehyun's words as he twirls the pencil around in his fingers. "You've been liking him for so long, hyung."

"But what if he realizes that it's strange that I like him more than a best friend should and he ends up breaking our friendship?" Beomgyu frowned deeply though he knew clearly that he was searching for more excuses this time around.

"Mm, you don't have any idea if he likes you back so why not bite the bullet and take the risk?" Hueningkai spoke up though he didn't take his gaze away from his book, eyes flickering fast from word to word though his attention seemed to be entirely on Beomgyu's worries right now. "You'll never know if he actually likes you back unless you say something."

"But hey, if you don't end up confessing, at least ten years from now, you can joke around and say, hey, hyung! Did you know that I used to like you before?"

"A confession that's ten years late isn't exactly ideal, Hyuka." Taehyun replied dryly though he didn't completely reject the idea, arching a brow as he stared at Beomgyu. "But I'm sure that that moment might actually happen ten years from now."

"Shut up." Beomgyu muttered, scowling hard though his words never felt heavy with actual hatred. The two boys in front of him only laughed before they indulged themselves in studying, claiming that they can no longer afford to slack off this time around. Beomgyu wanted to roll his eyes, knowing that even with little studying done, the two can easily top their own classes.

It took everything in Beomgyu to finally come to the realization that maybe, just _maybe_ , he needed to tell Yeonjun what he felt for him. The thought had sunk into him that same night, wrapping around his bones as he stared at the mirror in the bathroom. His cheeks felt warm, the blush rushing from his neck to his face.

Nervousness had made itself home in his ribcage and the melody of it was played by the echoes of his heartbeats. The music resonated in his head as he walked his way to school, anxiously rehearsing the little speech of how he should confess his feelings to the older boy.

_Hyung, I like you so much._

Too short.

_Hyung, I've been liking you for a while now. But I was afraid to let you know because I don't want you to hate me._

Beomgyu curved his lips into a frown at the thought almost immediately. It felt like he was already assuming on how Yeonjun would glance at him once he finished his little confession and he didn't want to dwell on the idea of losing Yeonjun as a friend.

He paused by the sidewalk, his backpack hitting his side slightly as his cheeks become flushed all over again. There was shame and regret already flooding through his veins and he hated himself for questioning his decision. He should be fair to his own heart and to Yeonjun, as well — for how long was he supposed to keep his secret buried in the spaces of his ribcage?

Forcing himself to take a deep breath, he nodded his head as he pushed himself to continue walking. It was only four words for him and he allowed every syllable to echo against the walls of his head.

_Hyung, I like you. Hyung, I like you. Hyung, I like you. Hyung, I like you. Hyung, I like you. Hyung, I—_

"Gyu, there you are!"

Beomgyu thought that this was the reason why he remembered that day so clearly — the clear blue skies that painted itself across his day, the fluttering of the leaves to the ground as the wind rushed by him. The way the footsteps resounded against the pavement as Yeonjun rushed to him, his eyes so bright under the flicker of sunlight over their heads. The way his fingers tightened around the wrist belonging to Beomgyu's senior named Soobin.

The way he looked so awfully happy as the dread pooled in Beomgyu's stomach.

"Gyu, I want you to meet my boyfriend, Soobin." He gestured to the boy right beside him, his cheeks coloring themselves in a pink tint. Beomgyu still thought that he looked absolutely lovely that day, a reminder of how much he loved his best friend despite the pain that coursed through his body.

Beomgyu forced his lips to curl into a wide smile, eyes crinkling. His chest was constricting once again but for a different reason that he used to feel — this time the shortness of breath left him lightheaded as his throat closed up. But when he parted his lips, the words roll off his tongue so smoothly that even Yeonjun didn't notice anything out of the blue about his behavior.

"Congratulations, hyung," The words laid themselves heavy in his mouth but he needed to say them, needed to see the flicker of happiness on Yeonjun's expression again. He wanted the reassurance that he could still make his best friend happy in a way that no one else could.

"I'm really happy for you, hyung." And that felt like the truth dragging past his lips, the lump forcing in his throat. It hurts so much, even until now as Beomgyu plunges into a reminiscence of his memories in his years as a teenager.

He felt so happy for Yeonjun. But that didn't mean that he didn't break his own heart in his chest — a very subtle crack that resonated in his bones.

Yeonjun didn't have to know what he felt for him.

Not when he could see how happy he was, in a way that only Soobin could give to him.

As he walked past him, he felt the cold seep through his veins and everything felt heavy. The skies didn't seem quite blue that day and the laughter didn't seem to resound as loud as it used to be. But Beomgyu kept his head up high, not letting himself fall for his insecurities all over again.

If Yeonjun was happy with someone else then he'll let him be.

* * *

_Yeonjun._

The second time didn't come for Beomgyu — this time, Yeonjun had fallen victim to the fate of the stars set out for him.

It was three years after he dated Soobin and two years since he had to promptly break up with him because the younger boy was moving away. They were still too young to be tied down so they quietly finished their relationship a night before Soobin meant to leave Seoul to head to Tokyo.

He had curled up in his couch and Beomgyu was there, holding him close. Though he was taller than him, older than him, and yet, he couldn't help but feel so vulnerable at that moment. Beomgyu stayed up with him past two in the morning, humming softly as he wiped away his tears and ran his fingers through his strands with a quiet reassurance of how much he appreciated Yeonjun.

Yeonjun wanted to feel guilty for making him stay up but exhaustion had already wrapped itself around his bones and he ended up falling asleep in his arms.

And for so many nights, it felt like a routine for the two of them — Beomgyu staying over in his room, their snacks ripped open and their bodies curved up against each other. The night always ended with Yeonjun crying his eyes out and Beomgyu gently wiping away his tears, telling him that _some things are meant to end. If you and Soobin hyung are meant to be together, fate will find a way for you to meet him again._

He was nearing the age of eighteen at that moment and he felt the shame and embarrassment build up within him for being so vulnerable like that with someone who was younger than him. But he was so, so grateful to have Beomgyu near him, always reassuring him that he would be all right.

And Beomgyu was right — after weeks of exhausting himself with sleepless nights of crying and falling asleep in Beomgyu's arms in the early hours of the morning, he finally got back to his feet and let himself heal. There were fleeting moments when he would miss Soobin, his chest clenching at the memories that flood his head but he dismisses every thought as much as he can.

What he had with Soobin was special but it was time to move on.

It was three years before his feelings had caught up to him. He might have suppressed his emotions for so long because he felt like his emotions were only tangling themselves in his body. But no matter how much he tried to pull them apart, they remain buried in his chest, waiting for him to finally acknowledge what was happening to him.

The rain fell hard that night and Beomgyu had to stay over since he couldn't leave the house without getting drenched from head to toe.

"Sorry, hyung. I didn't know that it would rain so hard tonight."

Yeonjun elicited a lighthearted laugh, shaking his head the slightest with a fond smile. "It's fine, I told you that you can stay whenever you need to." He smoothed out the creases on the blanket but it still crumpled up when Beomgyu made himself comfortable on his bed. All he received is an apologetic gaze directed at him, which Yeonjun only responded with a shake of his head, choosing not to scold him anymore.

"Come on, it's late."

Beomgyu hesitated that moment, teeth catching onto his lower lip as he glanced at the bed before he nervously shifted from one foot to another. "I can take the couch for tonight, hyung."

Yeonjun spared him an odd glance, furrowing his eyebrows. "Why are you going to sleep in the couch when we can sleep in the same bed?" A frustrated sigh fell from Beomgyu's lips and Yeonjun absolutely had no idea why he was acting like this but he let it slide as Beomgyu stalked to the bathroom to change into a more comfortable clothing rather than falling asleep in his uniform.

Beomgyu was acting stranger during those days, especially when he finally settled right beside Yeonjun on the bed. He kept his distance, rather than clinging to him like he used to do before — the thought of Beomgyu drifting away from him left him frowning deeply as he shifted closer, choosing to pull the younger boy into his arms. The rain made the air in the atmosphere drop to a lower temperature, the cold draping over them as Yeonjun had the excuse to have him as close as he can.

With a sigh, Beomgyu finally gave up in suppressing his emotions, finally turning to Yeonjun to wrap his own arms around the other boy's body. Beomgyu had always been so fragile, so small in his arms that Yeonjun was afraid that he would break the other boy if he wasn't too careful with him. They didn't say anything, letting the dim skies plunge their room in a sense of heavy darkness over their bodies.

But Yeonjun didn't feel lonely at all — not when Beomgyu was curled up in his arms like this, face buried against the crook of his neck. The way he breathed out a shaky sigh as he searched for Yeonjun's warmth even more sent the older boy's heart falling into pieces in his own ribcage, suddenly all too aware of the rush of blood pounding in his ears.

He never thought of Beomgyu as someone that he would ever see himself dating in any of his days ahead. But as he laid there, the rain gently pattering against the windowsill and the way Beomgyu was sleeping so soundly in his arms left Yeonjun wondering if he thought of him as anyone that he could like. He pulled away just enough to let the moonlight gently brush against Beomgyu's features, letting Yeonjun see him in a way that he didn't before.

The way Beomgyu's long eyelashes kiss the curve of his cheeks, the faint blush on his cheeks, the way his lower lip is jutted out into a small pout whenever his body reacts to the lack of warmth radiating from Yeonjun. He felt the lump settle in his throat and it hit him that maybe, he felt something a little more for his best friend. His heart collapsed in his chest and suddenly, he didn't understand how can he feel like this when hours ago, all he ever felt for him was fondness.

What if he had been suppressing his feelings for him this whole time?

A frustrated sigh fell from his lips as he turned his back on him. Not even a moment later, he felt Beomgyu's arms slide around his body and the added weight against his back. Beomgyu always did this — he never got to sleep soundly unless he was holding onto Yeonjun like this because he always told him that _I feel safe when I'm with you, hyung._ His heart clenched when he heard those words from Beomgyu's lips but he thought nothing of it, dismissing every feeling that he ever had as nothing special.

Now, he was thinking about every thought, every emotion that burst through his chest.

He fell asleep that night, head riddled with thoughts of how nice it would be to be with Beomgyu. To be someone that Beomgyu liked in this lifetime.

It must be really, _really_ nice.

* * *

Yeonjun only gathered the courage to let Beomgyu know what he felt after two weeks of stumbling into the possiblility of how much he liked Beomgyu. Each day that trailed after his realization felt like his breath was knocked out, like he was so aware of how much Beomgyu clung to him. He used to ignore that before but now, every brush of their fingers or every time their gazes meet and Beomgyu smiles at his direction, his heart breaks itself in half in his chest.

It's stupid, a headache to develop feelings for someone that he only held close to his heart as his best friend. But he loves every rush of happiness he gets when Beomgyu holds onto him, his eyes shining brightly beneath the sunset and the stars hanging over their heads. He loves the way his heartbeats wouldn't cease in stopping completely when Beomgyu lingers by his side, his head falling on his shoulder and him murmuring _I'm so happy that I met you, hyung_.

Because Beomgyu is like that — he isn't afraid to let anyone know how much they mean to him. And Yeonjun received every little reassurance that his heart ever wanted every day that they were together.

So, when he finally gathered the bursts of courage in his chest and sat down with Beomgyu, he found himself with his teeth sinking too hard onto his lower lip instead. Just enough to draw blood at the corner. Anything to stop himself from letting out his frustration, anger, and devastation.

"Hyung," Beomgyu sniffled, tears in his eyes and fingers twitching on his lap. He can't even meet Yeonjun's gaze as his words come out as a shaky sigh wrapping itself around every syllable that slipped by. "I'm moving away."

Yeonjun didn't know what to say this time. He always knew what to say in every situation that Beomgyu found himself stuck in but right now, they're both rendered speechless. The older boy stared at the lines of his palms before he dugs his nails on his skin, to stop himself from wanting to explode right then and there.

"To where?" He ended up saying instead, eyes downcast. He heard a sigh fall from Beomgyu's lips and his voice sounded softer, more hesitant this time around.

"New York."

Yeonjun swallowed thickly, his chest constricting too tightly that the breath is stuck in his throat. They're going to be a thousand miles apart and their difference will suddenly become thirteen hours. It was beyond horrible and Yeonjun wondered if the universe was out to ruin them, break them apart for its own amusement.

The stars could be cruel if they wanted to be.

"Oh."

He was at a loss for words, that he almost missed the way Beomgyu kept on sniffling, wiping away his tears with the sleeves of his sweater. His attention fell on him immediately and Yeonjun's features softened at the sight of the younger boy looking more fragile and smaller once again.

Yeonjun reached out, arms winding around Beomgyu's lithe frame and he could feel him shift closer to his body. It was warm, so incredibly warm and Yeonjun held him closer, wanting to savor the feeling traveling through his veins.

"Come on, don't cry."

He tried to keep his voice lighthearted despite how heavy his chest was feeling at that moment. It pressed against his ribcage, rendering him breathless but he couldn't let himself crumble right now, not when Beomgyu needed him the most. He only tightened his arms around him as he allowed Beomgyu to cry in his arms, sniffling and soft hiccups spilling from his lips every now and then.

The older boy didn't know how long he held him but the once bright skies outside were now in the hues of orange and pink, the sun starting to descend so the moon and the stars can light up the dark skies. But despite how late it was already, Yeonjun couldn't find it in himself to stand and leave him behind. Everything in him felt heavy — with the burden of carrying these emotions and the realization of how attached they were with each other.

How could he go on a day without seeing Beomgyu's bright smile?

* * *

The walk down the airport was silent, with the exception of their footsteps and the way the wheels attached to Beomgyu's suitcase rolled down the sidewalk. There was a clutter of noise, people talking over each other and the hum of the machinery nearby but they never paid attention to any of those.

They were focused with slowing down every step they take, fervently wishing that time would stretch itself thin for them. Give them a little more than a minute to savor the feeling of each other's warm presence.

But of course, the stars wouldn't give their hearts a moment of rest. They stand near the entrance and Yeonjun felt the reality crash in them, reminding them that they would no longer see each other in school tomorrow. They would no longer see each other every day, every night when they needed their presence the most.

Funny how the universe had to break them apart, for them to realize the intensity of their own feelings.

"So, this is it." Beomgyu spoke out though he didn't make any move to roll his suitcase down the gate. He turned to Yeonjun, forcing a smile to curve upon his lips as he reached out for their fingers to brush against each other. Yeonjun willingly indulged himself for one last selfish desire — he laced their fingers together tightly, a quiet squeeze to let him know much he wanted to be with him.

He never knew if Beomgyu caught on with what he meant.

"This is it," Yeonjun echoed his words and there was a streak of uncontrollable sadness on his features though the smile lingered on the edges of his mouth. "You won't forget me, right?"

"Never."

That seemed to spark the tiniest flame of hope in Yeonjun's chest — he knew that it was dangerous for him to hold onto anything right now but he was getting pulled away from his best friend. The one constant in his life, the one that he wanted to spend his days with.

"I'll miss you."

Sincerity wrapped itself around Yeonjun's words and that was enough for Beomgyu to choke on his sobs, sniffling as he sunk his teeth onto his bottom lip. He hastily wiped away his tears with his sweater paws, reaching out immediately to wrap his arms around Yeonjun to pull him into a tight embrace. Yeonjun held onto him, just tight enough to let him know that he'll always be here, if Beomgyu ever decides to come back home to him.

Beomgyu's flight was announced in the intercom over their heads and it took everything for Yeonjun to break away from the embrace.

"I'll miss you too." Beomgyu finally murmured as he gripped onto the handle of his suitcase. He gave a little wave at his direction before he slowly made his way to the gate, not giving himself a chance to glance over his shoulder again.

They don't say the words that they've been wanting to say for the past weeks.

What's the use of saying them when you're going to leave in the end?

* * *

_Ten Years: Beomgyu and Yeonjun._

Beomgyu can feel the ache in his shoulders, a sigh falling from his lips. It doesn't matter if the hours will be cut short — doing so much paperwork always leaves him more exhausted than before. The headache always resides in his head, making him wonder why he's pushing himself for that promotion these past months.

"Hyung!"

He catches sight of Taehyun and Hueningkai eagerly approaching him and a smile graces his lips easily. He can't believe that after seven years, they're taller than ever and yet, they still radiate the same vibe as they did back when they were schoolmates.

"Hey, I missed you two."

Beomgyu pushes himself off the stool, already wobbily landing on his feet despite the shot of whiskey running through his veins. Taehyun snickers at the sight of the flushed cheeks on the older boy, wrapping an arm around his shoulder to pull him close for a proper embrace. "I missed you too, hyung."

"And what about me?"

Taehyun rolls his eyes at the way the youngest boy in their little group is sulking right now, shaking his head in disbelief. "Come on, I saw you a month ago. I saw Beomgyu hyung seven years ago."

"Sucks to be you then," Hueningkai seems smug and Beomgyu bites back a laugh, knowing exactly where the younger male is steering the conversation to, "We met up two years ago, when I visited him in New York."

"This isn't a competition, Hyuka."

Taehyun pipes up though he does seem a little bitter. Beomgyu is quick to reassure him, pinching his cheek teasingly with a lighthearted laugh, "Don't be jealous. I missed you more, Taehyunnie."

"Wow, it's like I'm not even here!"

They only burst into a fit of laughter, the atmosphere as light as ever. It brings a sense of nostalgia to Beomgyu, a fond smile curving on his lips as he watches the way the two boys bicker over mundane things again — it almost feels like middle school and high school all over again.

Only this time, ten years later, he doesn't find the one person that his heart has been unknowingly looking for these past hours. Every time he sees the doors to the club are pushed open, he finds himself craning his neck to glance at the newcomers. But he never sees him amongst the crowd nor in the familiar faces of his old classmates.

It's stupid for him to hold high hopes for this. Yeonjun and him only kept in contact for three years before they eventually fell out. The texts have stopped coming in, as well as the nightly calls that they used to do. No more _good morning_ and _good night_ texts or staying up late at night so they can spend the time with each other.

Beomgyu tries to convince himself that it was okay; there are friendships in his life that are bound to end at one point. He can't force someone to stay if they do not want to — he's not going to beg for them to stay after all.

But he knows that it's a lie, especially when he feels the way his chest tightens every time he thinks about Yeonjun. There isn't a day when he doesn't worry himself sick from thinking about him — is he doing okay? Is he eating all right? Is he staying up late too because of the deadlines that he had to meet that week?

He thinks that he never stopped thinking about him. It's only recently that he stopped letting Yeonjun consume his thoughts too much, wanting to move past a friendship that broke years ago. He knew that he should have given up when he sent a text to Yeonjun that said _how are you doing, hyung?_ and it was left unanswered until now.

Beomgyu lies to himself so much that sometimes, he believes them. Right now, he believes that he already got over what he used to feel for his best friend — someone that lingered in his past.

But the words die on his lips and his thoughts fall quiet when he sees him; Yeonjun steps inside and he looks like he had just left work and headed straight to the club. Though the exhaustion had painted itself on his features, he still looks so bright, like he commands attention everywhere he goes.

Until now, everyone's eyes are on Yeonjun.

The way his old classmates rush over to Yeonjun, eagerly talking to him and trying to spend even a little more time with him leaves Beomgyu eliciting a sigh. Taehyun and Hueningkai had long since disappeared in the crowd dancing to the song playing so he chooses to settle on his stool, nursing another drink. The glass feels fragile yet heavy against his palm so he tightens his hold around it, the sadness written across his features.

Why does Yeonjun feel so close yet so far?

He drowns out the other voices and the bass booted music echoing around him, his thoughts occupying his head. He's too busy with lifting the glass and swirling the whiskey around it, that he fails to hear the voice that resonated next to him.

"Gyu?"

It's the way he says it — the way his little nickname falls from his lips. Beomgyu always thought that it sounded like a melodious lullaby whenever he calls out to him, eyes crinkling and the wide smile drawn across his lips. As Beomgyu glances back at him, he sees the same smile and the same way his eyes crinkle.

He looks so happy that it sends a confusing wave of emotions in Beomgyu's chest.

"Wow, you look different."

"Oh," He tips the glass back and takes a sip, letting the alcohol burn down his throat before he speaks again, "Thank you."

He didn't know how to talk to him — how do you speak again to someone who has fallen away from you years ago?

Yeonjun doesn't seem to want to give up so he takes the unoccupied stool next to him, ordering a bottle of soju with a flick of his wrist. They sit side by side, nursing their own drinks as they try to find a way to break down the boundaries that they have built over the years that they lost contact.

"How are you?"

Ah, of course. The classic how are you question — the one that hangs in the air and is always met with the same response, as it always does. Still, Beomgyu answers though his voice is monotonous.

"Fine, just trying to push for a promotion in my job. You?"

"I think I'm doing okay. I'm producing another track with another artist soon so I think it'll be fun."

"Sounds like you're doing well."

Beomgyu curves his lips into a smile as he glances at the one person who still holds onto his heart like he had done the first time ten years ago. Yeonjun only falls quiet at that, lips pursued into a thin line as he tightens his hold around the glass. They should have been drowning themselves in alcohol and dancing with their friends but here they were, the words that left unsaid are haunting them all over again.

"I missed you, Gyu." Yeonjun murmurs and there's a streak of guilt, regret, and longingness as he casts a glance at Beomgyu. "I really did."

A saddened smile is drawn on his lips and it's difficult for Beomgyu to ignore the way his chest constricts once again, like how it always does whenever he thinks of him. He wants to believe his words but with the way they have fallen apart, it almost seems like he's only saying those words.

Maybe it's the alcohol in his system. Or maybe he lost every sense of care in his body, that he didn't want to think too much about what he wants to say to him.

"Hyung, do you know what?" A low laugh echoes between them as Beomgyu's voice dips into lower as his tone becomes quieter than before, "I liked you so much, hyung. I liked you ten years ago."

He almost expected for Yeonjun to brush off his words — for who in their right mind would believe someone who's already tipsy with the alcohol coursing through his veins? He could be saying nonsense if he wanted to, though right now, it's certainly not the case.

Beomgyu didn't expect the way Yeonjun suddenly straightens up, eyes widening. He looks taken aback as he parts his lips, his voice low as the streak of confusion crosses his features.

"What did you say?"

"Are you even listening to me?" Beomgyu grunts, obviously annoyed but he repeats his words nevertheless with a loud sigh wrapped the syllables. "I said, I liked you. I liked you so, so much, hyung."

Though the music is vibrating around them, the walls and floor falling in sync with the loud, aching bass resounding in the club, the silence between them is much, _much_ louder. It's almost deafening at this point; or maybe it's because the alcohol is clearly running through his system right now. It's intensifying every sense of his that his head is starting to spin.

"Come on, drink this and let's head out. You need to clear your head."

A glass of water is pushed into his hands and he badly wants to be stubborn. But with one stern glare from the older male, he ends up scowling, downing the water in one go before Yeonjun circles his fingers around his wrist to pull him out of the doors of the club.

The sting of the cold air bites down on his skin, shaking him awake and making him more alert than before. But his head is still a little cloudy, forcing him to stop walking so he can control himself from his head pounding repeatedly. God, he's going to have such a bad headache tomorrow morning.

"Let's talk here."

Beomgyu stumbles into a nearby bench under a bus shelter, falling down on the seat and rubbing his hand down his face. Yeonjun only follows him from behind, taking the unoccupied seat beside him as they watch the cars pass by them in this quiet street. It's more peaceful out here and this time, Beomgyu can process his thoughts clearly, forcing him to emit a sigh at how ridiculous every word that passes through his head at the moment. 

"Did you mean that?"

"Mean what?"

Yeonjun hesitates, eyes downcast at first before he draws his attention to the younger male.

"When you said that you liked me."

Beomgyu expected that he would feel the regret and shame drift through his system but instead, as he sits there, he only feels like he needs to come to terms with what he felt years ago. Yeonjun was a huge part of his life — he deserved to hear the truth at least.

"Yeah," He swallows thickly and his fingers twitch when he laid them on his lap. The heat rushes to his cheeks but he doesn't do anything to conceal them, only turning his head slightly so he doesn't meet Yeonjun's lingering gaze on him. "Ten years ago, I thought about it over and over again. I wanted to confess but..."

"I got together with Soobin?"

it's only a guess but still, the memory lands a strike in Beomgyu's chest. He doesn't even hate Soobin, especially since his senior was nothing but sweet and friendly to him when he was still attending their school. He couldn't find a reason to despise him and so, he pushed down the bitterness that was bursting through his body in those days.

"You're getting good at guessing, hyung."

He tries to keep his voice light, free from anything that weighs heavily in his chest but he can't erase the remnants of sadness on his expression. He wants to say more, tell him that he shouldn't worry about the past emotions that Beomgyu went through but Yeonjun decidedly speaks up about it with his voice soft and soothing as ever.

"Can I tell you something too?"

Beomgyu only hums softly in response and unknowingly digs his nails onto his thighs, nervously sinking his teeth onto his lower lip. He doesn't want to say anything else but there's a flicker of hope in his chest right now — is it right for him to let it fade away into nothingness?

Yeonjun takes in a deep breath and for the first time in such a long time, he looks vulnerable all over again. The last time he had seen him like this was seven years ago, when he left to head over to another country.

"I," He pauses as his eyes fall on Beomgyu and there's a slight glimmer of happiness and hopefulness in his gaze as he speaks again. "I liked you too, Gyu. I liked you a lot."

Beomgyu had conjured so many scenarios, so many situations where this could have gone in a different direction. But instead, they're here, the night sky hanging over their heads and the glimmer of moonlight on Yeonjun's features, making him look so ethereal.

"What do you mean you liked me?" He elicits a nervous laugh, ignoring the way his stomach twists in anxiety. "Since when did you start liking me?"

"Two weeks before you left."

That lands another strike in Beomgyu's heart, his chest tightening as he becomes breathless. Yeonjun already liked him back at that moment? When he was burying himself in his anxious thoughts of leaving, Yeonjun was thinking about him and falling for him in the same way that he fell for him?

"I wanted to confess too but..."

"I told you I was leaving."

Beomgyu finishes his thought and Yeonjun curves his lips into a bitter smile, nodding his head in reply. A frustrated groan falls from Beomgyu's lips as he leans against the wall of the bus shelter, so many what-ifs running through his head all at once. All the possibilities that could have come true if only they had confessed at that moment.

Their relationship could have been completely different by now.

They sit in silence, mulling over the little confessions that slipped by their lips tonight. Beomgyu is no longer near being tipsy, his head clear and his thoughts falling into a coherent trail. And he hated how his mind wouldn't stop tugging on the little possibilities of his relationship with Yeonjun.

If only.

He hated that so much.

"What do you feel for me now, Gyu?"

It's the question that he has been avoiding for the entire evening. He didn't want to be pathetic and say that he's still holding onto the hope that maybe Yeonjun still likes him, even if seven years have passed and four of those years were spent being bitter over his falling out with Yeonjun.

But he owes it to himself to be honest now. If he gets rejected then he gets rejected — it wouldn't matter to him anymore.

"I still like you, hyung. I don't think I ever stopped liking you."

There's a beat of silence between them that stretches for so long that Beomgyu is worried that he had pushed him away again. That he's going to lose another chance of reconnecting with him again because of his emotions that got into the way.

But to his surprise, Yeonjun visibly lights up, his eyes brighter than ever. The moonlight flickers across his features and he looks so achingly beautiful like that — how can he look so happy, like he finally has the entire world in his hands now?

"Good," He murmurs as he closes the distance between them. Beomgyu didn't know how much he missed his warmth until he feels it draping across his body, wrapping him up like a tight embrace that he's been chasing after such an exhausting day. Yeonjun reaches out to gently cup his cheek, his thumb brushing along it before a tender smile graces his lips. "I don't think I ever stopped liking you too, Gyu."

"You... still like me?"

"Always did," He keeps his voice low and Beomgyu feels like his heart would collapse in his chest when Yeonjun leans closer to let their lips brush the slightest. "And I always will."

He closes the remaining distance between them and Beomgyu finds himself falling for him all over again. His lips are soft as he pulls Beomgyu into a deeper kiss, their bodies curving up against each other so comfortably. Fingers tracing every feature, murmuring _pretty_ beneath his breath and he laughs between the kiss when he feels the way the heat rushes from Beomgyu's neck to the curve of his cheeks. It's almost as if their souls know that they've been trying to find each other for so long and here they are, the stars aligning for them at long last.

The younger male breaks the kiss first with flushed cheeks but he keeps Yeonjun close to him, a wide smile lingering on his lips. When he sees the way Yeonjun glances at him with the brightest smile, his heart falls right to his feet.

"Can we give us a try now?"

Beomgyu elicits a sweet laugh, pulling him in for another kiss. This time, he lets himself fall completely, knowing that from now on, Yeonjun would always be there to catch him.

"I'd love that."

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading! feel free to talk to me in [twitter.](http://twitter.com/yeomgyus)


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